How To Recover From Bad Experienced

Have you ever had that moment of disappointment? Perhaps that experienced of setting up an expectation but failed to achieved it? Didn’t get that dream job, you lost your job, you lost your house, didn’t do well in your last job interview your last exam or perhaps failed to be with that special someone? Sounds familiar doesn’t it?

Wether it is a personal objectives or relational experience failure are all  the same and has no difference. A failure is a failure no matter which way you look at it and the worse part is resentment often follows. Experts often says we all learn from our mistakes but it sounds too cheesy isn’t it?

The real question is how to overcome it? Here are some tips how to quickly overcome that resentment caused by failure that is hanging down in your shoulder.

First ask yourself a question – How will you know that you have done a good job? Experience says our mind is trained to make decision based out of “internal deciders” or “external deciders.” Your answer to this question is crucial in understanding your mistake.

Internal Deciders: is a process of thinking that cannot be explained but you just know it and feel it.
External Deciders: is a train of thought that can be express with the use of evidence.

Why is this important? In NLP (Neuro Lingustic Programming) or some call it training of the mind there is a term called “uptime” and “downtime” moment.

Uptime: You are fully aware of your surroundings, what you are doing and are aware of what is going on around you.
Downtime: Is when you start loosing your composure and everything starts to fall apart and gets in your head.

As cheesy as it sounds but a good way to overcome a resentment is to face the problem head on by recapturing that “downtime” moment feeling. That moment of failure but disengaging yourself from that actual event as if you are the audience of yourself just like watching your failure unfold and being rehearse in a movie. The faster you can do this the faster you can spend more time on the “uptime” moment and gain back your composure to correct yourself. Because by watching your failure from a perspective of an audience when you are in that uptime moment and are fully aware of your surroundings, your conscious mind will help you adjust and overcome that negativity and so uptime moment becomes second nature to you because it doesn’t feel as bad watching your mistakes from the perspective of an audience as suppose to you actually making the mistake.

From the audience point of view it is easy to ask yourself a question such as what could you have possibly done differently knowing what you know now in this specific situation? Because lets face it we tend to build rapport with someone who think and act just like us. We tend to listen and get advice from people who think, behave and act just like us. A notion of what “monkey see monkey do!” Our brain is structured and behave the same way when we are disappointed or feeling down we tend to caved in and escape from that awful bad experience but we can always train our unconscious mind to always be in that uptime moment.


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